Monday 3 December 2012

The Curious Tale of the Tiger General and the Rabbit General: The Fall Of Singapore WWII


The Japanese were led by General Yamashita, known to his troops as “the tiger of Malaya.” The British and Commonwealth troops were led by General Percival, nicknamed “the rabbit” by his troops.

The tiger general practically 'ate' up the rabbit forces in 2 months with 30, 000 soldiers against the enemy’s force of 130,000 men; who initially were mostly relaxing and holding picnics supposedly behind impenetrable defensive positions.

 All was not lost though - as there were some survivors for the rabbit general.

These were the servicemen who surrendered and were all taken as Prisoners of War - including the rabbit general himself who had to lay down his arms and surrender. Many of the Commonwealth soldiers taken prisoner would never return home. Thousands were shipped on "Hellships” to other parts of Asia to be used as forced labour on projects such as the Burma Death Railway

The rest, including those undergoing surgery in hospital were summarily butchered by the Japanese; sick and wounded enemies were still enemies. Although a little useless and cumbersome.

The Australian, General Bennett (who made a daring escape on a boat and floated all the way to Australia hungry) later said: "The whole operation seemed incredible: 550 miles in 55 days – forced back by a small Japanese army riding on stolen bicycles”.

Hubris, pride, fatuous bluster, exaggerated bluffs, dependence on useless allies and underestimation of the resolve of opponents results into only one and only one possible fate... ignominy. 

Yet even when the battle is ignominiously lost, the war must still be concluded.

Like Admiral Yamamoto (the chief planner and executioner of the Pearl Habour Attack) who was hunted down and blasted out of the sky by American fighter pilots, Gen. Yamashita (the tiger general) did not live long enough to write memoirs of his victory. First he was demoted due to factional intrigues in the Japanese military High Command.

Then 3 years later hundreds of miles away from Singapore where they had first battled, he ironically had to surrender to Percival (the rabbit general) in the Philippines in 1945. He was given a show trial and quickly hanged by the vengeful Americans as a war criminal.

It is never over . . . even if it may be a spectacular start.

Sunday 16 September 2012

Irrelevance of Thought: Don’t Think Too Hard, You are Not That Important


Ever done something and wondered why the hell you did it in the first place or if you are still doing it why in the world you are still doing it? 

The funny thing is that the things we most regret having done are actually not done on the spur of the moment as we like to lie to others that they were.

Hard, cold thinking went into it... it being the perpetration of the nefarious thing you did or are still doing... most times conscious, objective thought played some part. That is, thinking arduously to do some stupid thing that is innately and irrevocably stupid but you figured you must do this stupid thing nonetheless. 

Like for me it would be the writing of this blogpost and keeping this blog public in general. As a friend once said, 'If you are too open-minded, your brains will fall out'. 

Am wary of the fact that people might actually start thinking Greyhorn (who is me when writing this blog) and the plain simple me are one and the same. What an appalling thing that would be! Every pleb (plebeian) can then claim that he/she knows what the bloody hell am thinking . . . bullshit. Half the time I myself don't know or am baffled ... totally confused . . . by what I'm thinking.

Going on about thinking . . . other times though the reasoning is subliminal... a subconscious mental process that craves stupidity and compels you to do the stupid thing. Whatever the case, you still DID think.

Many a time I have thought and thought interminably about various sets of problems that as any normal human am faced with in this journey through life.

Brand them challenges, call them situational obstacles, karma being a bitch etc. and after thorough thinking and analysis of the problem and of course identifying the requisite set of solutions... I still usually end up doing the idiotic thing.

Frustratingly I would do this unintelligent thing over and over again... albeit in different styles and flavours... all those clever things I had spent such a long time thinking about would sit on the kerb while I frolick obliviously and in total ecstasy with the only stupid thing one can do in such a situation.

Does this mean me, you and everyone else on this retarded world is . . . well, stupid? Absolutely! The harder you think to only end up doing nothing or the thing you deem foolish then I would have to say in this ad hoc stupidometer of mine you really are dim... as in dimwitted.

Jokes aside I think this particular self-deprecatory strategy of dissing myself and you could be annoying but it is the truth ain't it? Anyway since you are the reader I think it only appropriate that I should insult only you hereinafter, I have a feeling that if you are not sufficiently insulted by now you'll keep reading. 


Why do we procrastinate, ignore, modify, assume, ridicule (yes some sick people do ridicule their own ideas), mutilate and refuse to implement our own plans? 

Plans that we took a considerable amount of effort in coming up with in the first place? Let me paraphrase: why do we love to embellish stupidity? What is the purpose of thinking so hard to come up with solutions only to end up choosing what is not even in the list of solutions or continuing with your old habits anyway?

Is it an inherent need for self destruction? Hubris perhaps i.e. I have thought of every possible thing, so if I could think it then it is solved already... lesser beings would still be grappling to come up with such brilliant ideas and strategies, am still ahead... and so on and so forth. 

Vanity of vanities! Chasing after the wind! 

Greatness is the accumulation of all the things that you can actually motivate or scare the so called lesser beings into achieving for you. You are shit without the little stupid guys... ask Safaricom.

You can't be a great lawyer without some really scruffy, assuming and not so insightful lawyers to compare with. But more so the boys and girls of the Fourth Estate to keep harping of your great achievements. 


Greatness in darkness is... is there even such a thing to begin with 'Greatness in darkness'... it is like saying some absurd thing Buddha would mumble in one of his fatuous moments of 'enlightenment'...  such as The Plentiness of Emptiness...  I think what I meant is that you can't be nondescript and be great. 

Wait . . .  I really think I have just discovered some Universal Law or something. Repeat after me... YOU CAN'T BE A MEDIOCRE NOBODY AND BE GREAT... but curiously though you can be great for just being an overly visible, overtly loud-mouthed, excitable and pretentious buffoon. I know lots of those. Caroline Mutoko?


I have already disparaged the virtues of critical thinking elsewhere in this blog (Philosophy begets Stupidity) what I want to confine myself to in this post is actually this question: Is it worth your time to think so hard to be really good at what you do  while pandering, flattery and bootlicking can get you so much further? Social Engineering is what I think we called it.

You just work yourself into the bosoms of those who really matter then you create a persona and aura of effectiveness, efficiency etc and believe it or not (or so I believe) you become the platinum-eyed hot shot. That is from up above.... from down below it is often still extremely clear that such an individual is still a clump of mud or more aptly ... hot shit.

Thinking is irrelevant... particularly thinking hard about solving things. Perception on the other hand is king.  If one thinks you are busy solving something it matters not that you are actually seriously rubbishing someone on Facebook. It is even more impressive if you actually get someone to solve it for you and you take the cred. 

For instance it is not that you are farting... it is the perception of what you are farting that matters:  
Oh my... how wonderful... do you know so and so...  farts Rose-Petal perfume (as those in some exotic place in Southern France)... utterly delightful that fart is I tell you... exquisite. (Upper class laugh) ha ha ha ha.

Apparently it is only ordinary, mediocre people who think all fart is the same... they just can't perceive it right. Higher ranked people and seniors don't fart... they pass gas, inert and noble like Argon and Xenon. Anybody below you on the other hand is just a plain farter. 

Failures and mistakes take the same hue (or smell) as the above aphoristic fart. It actually depends on who is failing . . . and how. Damn Einstein, everything is indeed relative. There is no equity in either success or failure, that is should you be on the wrong side you will always get it bad... less accreditation for success and more of the blame for failure

Should you complain and bemoan your circumstance? Should you work harder? 

To the first rhetorical question the answer is absolutely not. Never moan and whine... not to yourself, not to fate, not to anyone else... ever! Especially if they can do something about whatever your grievance is... that is plainly gross. To the second ... you should also never work harder at what you are doing... you should be working harder on who you ought to be impressing. That is pandering ...  it is just bootlicking without the negative connotations. 

Am neither good at doing both of these things... and that is why am writing about them... so that they can somehow percolate into my consciousness and into my thick head. I always tend to complain a lot when I think am underconsidered or undervalued ... why? 

Because I would literally bring everything else to a screeching halt just to work harder at doing something that I deem important or necessary. Then you discover your effort wasn't worth an ounce of chicken droppings. Or the cred goes elsewhere. It's enough to make me want to tear off my moustache, listen to that disgusting noise they call punk rock and take a course on full time pandering. I tell ya' it is the only thing that fucking counts.

At some point... I think last year, I reached a point in my cynicism that I thought that I could never go higher than that. It seemed utterly impossible, anymore cynicism and I would stop talking for lack of belief that people actually know what the heck am saying or that  I would be misquoted due to the blithe diabolism of humanity. By the way this is not an original idea ... whatever an original idea might mean... prior to imperial Rome there was a dictator called Sulla this dude got so cynical that he would not even talk to his servants in case he is misquoted. 

Every single instruction he wrote down ... 

" Glutius Maximus my lowly slave, please pluck some soft leaves from the plants in the botanical garden behind the aviary so I may go relieve myself for it seems I have a dastard case of diarrhea.  
Signed Your Boss Sulla." 

Many others since have followed his wise example (not writing a letter while you have diarrhea but his cynical ways).

But loe and behold, my cynicism got bettered by the indifference to the law of cause and effect that so flagrantly exists everywhere. Anyone, and I mean anyone... who works hard should get the reward that befits his effort and vice versa. Something else, utterly obnoxious to me is what actually exists (which underscores the naiveté and idealism I still perceive the world with)... The Law of Pandering and Promotion.

Most people would tell me that that is the Law of Pragmatism (which does not exist) and the other one called the Law of Attraction (which I think is a laugh because with a well padded account and some fake projection of class you can pretty much attract anyone... from low class thieves, high class prostitutes, philanthropists and tree huggers to renowned social scientists who theorize on nothing meaningful), but am too bruised to hear any of it for the next century.  

That is, in a hundred years I would say I I’ll be ready to rationally approach this subject since hopefully I'll be long dead . . .  ghosts don't give a fuck. I also hope at that time the world would be so opulent and boring that an Inquest would be opened upon the discovery of this blog post to the causes of my melancholy, lunacy and arguably untimely demise at the age of 89.

Finally to all those of you who are trying to read in between the lines ... there is nothing there... if you find something then you must be a greater nut than me. 

Honestly, I would like to meet you . . . so that I can laugh at you? No no am not that mean yet ...  I terribly need somebody to point at and say 'Here is a greater nut!'. What an inspiration that would be! It would certainly help in churning out some more satirical, pungent commentaries. Who else than a nut who actually reads my stuff to help me along?
M Wycliff,
Nairobi.





PS:
Glutius Maximus is the biological name of the butt muscle; I needed a 'cheeky' name.

Sunday 26 August 2012

Everything About Nothing: Why fuss? The World has Always Been A Shitty Place


The world is in turmoil. Or so I would like to think. My favourite nag subject . . . Somalia . . . seems so tantalizingly close to being 'sorted' into having some semblance of a central government after 21 bloody years of anarchy. Yet am not holding my breath, I resolved a long time ago (and even blogged about it) that the Somalis need not . . . and more importantly . . . they desireth not . . . the frivolous thing we like to call peace.

Just to keep in line with the subject at hand (and to do away with the mirthless optimism of the preceding paragraph) I do indeed think the world is an incorrigibly shitty place. The
Somali tribal factions that the Al Shaabab  had pacified  with dogged single-mindedness (through bombings, shootings, stabbings, decapitations and deliberately engineered mass starvation) have once again began to re-emerge.

Frustratingly (haven't these idiots learnt anything yet) they are already impeding the prospects of the long fantasized peace by squabbling even before the Al Shaabab and their Islamist cohorts have been decisively routed out of their remaining strongholds in Central and Southern Somalia. 

I see no peace coming anytime soon in that wretchedly beautiful country. I feel sorry . . . mixed with a little bit of nausea, disgust, some pride and some peppering of anger. That we are losing precious Kenyan lives trying to square things out amidst what I visualize as a case study in humanity's innate need for self-annihilation . 

Somalia should be regarded as the devil's groin . . . nothing good can come out of it. Barring Mo Farah and the pirate investors at Eastleigh of course.

Right back here at home our own brand of genocidal tribalism is frothing with re-energized momentum as we get closer to the indeterminate polling day. The story is so old and lame . . . and so routine that one could easily mistake it for a devil forsaken natural cycle (God doesn't have anything to do with it, even he must have gotten bored at some point . . . the 80's perhaps?) 48 burnt and cut down in this part of the country, 50 shot dead in that other part . . . a little bit of fatal tribal fracas here . . . a little bit of farcical platitudes by the politicians here . . .
some more unrelocateable IDPs . . . some hate speech everywhere. You know the script.

. . . .Someone distilling bootleg alcohol with ARVs for HIV/AIDS . . .

Regionally we are not doing any better... the two Sudans are itching for another round of 'necessary' needless war, the only thing that has changed after the secession of the South is that now Ethiopia is the country regarded as the honest broker rather than Kenya in that little eternal war.

On the other hand Ethiopia's dictator is dead . . . we all know what tends to happen when the ruthless big chief dies in Africa . . . without having deliberately prepared a successor or succession process in case of their own mortal transition. People fight . . . people fight hard. Byzantine intrigues give way to 'gorilla' tactics . . . fighting is the only legitimate recourse to  unrivalled dominance.
 

Sheer brute is what you have to have . . . staring your enemies in the eyes like Miguna Miguna and giving them a 'come baby come' dare . . .  unlike Miguna though you have to mean it! An example would be Teodoro Nguema of Equitorial Guinea who hacked to death with a machete his own uncle to take the presidency. He didn't have to say 'come baby come' to his rivals ever again.

Am not so sure though if anyone is celebrating in Ethiopia upon Meles Zenawi's death other than the Ethiopian Ogaden and Oromo rebel leagues (they provide the Ethiopian army with these funny, sporadic battle fixtures). 

The diplomatically embattled Isaias Afeworki of Eritrea, former comrade in arms and personal friend of Meles Zenawi . . . turned bitter rival . . . turned external enemy number one, could be the only person who would be supposedly grinning. Although I doubt it, without a bigger than life nemesis in Ethiopia, he is a plain washed up former rebel leader now dictator mirthlessly wringing the life out of Eritrea. He had began to seem shitty a long while ago, now he risks not only seeming shitty, but also an expired nuisance to his hungry and abjectly impoverished Eritrean subjects.

In fact the continent can be said to be in no better political situation that it has ever been. Maybe only a little bit worse. Libya, Egypt and Tunisia are still convulsing with the deadly hangovers of the 'successful' revolutions of the Arab Spring. They are all staggering towards some sort of stability, some more badly than others. Hungry, oppressed Arabs in North Africa  and elsewhere in the Middle East did indeed 'spring' on their dictators, just in case you were in Mars or were not yet born early last year.

In other matters, well Africa is still a malnutritioned, disease riddled place. Who are we kidding, we can blame the International media for stereotyping this continent's problems and overlooking the good things... but heck you must be blind and admittedly stupid if you can miss all the far much worse stories about these 'stereotypical' problems in the local media. You can sugar coat shit, but it is still shit, ain't it?


Case in point . . . The DR Congo. When was the last time you heard that rebels voted someone out of power in that country? Think, take your time. . . 

I thought so . . . never! Well when was the last time you heard of some sort of rebel attack or conflict in the Congo? I thought so too . . . about yesterday. It has been so for eternity... Congo has more paved roads now than it has ever had in it's sorry history, but what is stereotypical and non-factual about the eerie fact that it is still a shitty place? Rebels have fought themselves into tattered ragtag armies over the spoils in the Congo and there is no end in sight. What keeps changing are the leaders, compositions and names of the militia. The modus operandi and motives remain the same.
 

Morbid, grimy stories make bigger stories . . . that is the simple truth. Paved roads as a story can't hold it up to mass raping of women and men. Yes, in the Congo child soldiers rape grown men too.

In fact the mother continent is changing . . . terribly so. I mean it, we are becoming more horrible. All these things about hurtling economic growth figures and technological advancement are simply as a result of the need to keep up at the tail end of the rest of the world.

More poignantly it is the accumulative result of the efforts of ordinary folk who just want to make their living some way despite the reprehensible misgovernance in Africa. We have as a whole less water (could this be a reason why our cities are also less clean?), less arable land, less forests, less mineral resources but more hungry people, more violence, more guns, more ethnic hatred and  more sectarian polarization than we had 50 years ago at the end of colonialism. The rest of the world, particularly the developed world is too saturated with development to make the kind of quick buck that medium sized investments can make in Africa.

It is no miracle. . . we had less to nothing of everything... they can give us the dregs and crumbs . . . and everybody, including them, end up having a wild ball out of it. You should be grateful and happy that you are living at such an auspicious time in Africa (am 'dying' with joy and enthusiasm for being so lucky, 5 decades earlier and I would have died a colonized bushman), where two cents worth of know-how and just a spit of cash can make you incomprehensibly rich. Obviously I don't have this 'know-how' (yayayai!) otherwise I would be incomprehensibly rich myself... overnight as a matter of fact. But there is (swallow) . . . hope?

Look at Nigeria . . . what's so different there than it is has ever been? Secessionist movements, venal officialdom, a retarded bureaucracy, a depraved political class, ethnic violence, soaring inflation and general thuggery. Pitiful... take out oil and Nigerians right now would be embroiled in a vicious civil war . . . fighting for food and firewood.

South Africa on the other hand is a classic example of missed opportunities that continue to be woefully missed. That country's black leadership and the new black elite are so engrossed in what can only be termed as post-colonial grabberry. Grabbing to their heart's content what they can from the cowed whites who fear a Zimbabwe-like insurrection that would herald a funny black take over of their properties . . . which I still believe is a danger that still looms large in South Africa. 

Their president is a venal polygamous pervert. While their police and slum rabble still seem to refer to the Apartheid procedural manuals for general confrontation and resolution of 'black' problems. The average black citizen in South Africa is still very much engrossed in the Apartheid struggle (mentally, spiritually and physically) for some imperceptible reason. What a waste of African resources . . .  who would have known South Africa would turn into such a xenophobic pit latrine it is today.

In Kenya we have gone a full circle and now we are selling back and inviting foreigners (Caucasians, Asians and Mongoloids alike) to come take whatever they can in the country. . . only that we have sanitized this expatriation to 'Foreign Investment'. We are still a trailblazer in Africa in many respects. . . even in selling the vague 'sovereignty' we like to chest thump about. Mind you that some of these acquisitions and investment sometimes end up costing the Kenyan taxpayer billions by the bucketful in graft . . . Triton? De La Rue? Anglo-Leasing?

But that is Africa . . . we are who we are. . . the rest of humanity can come help in helping themselves or simply go to hell (no offense since I only half-believe in hell . . . but nonetheless I fully believe there is a devil. What can I say, my belief system is a work in progress . . . not a bloody doctrinal pantheon).

Who is fooling who? The NGO's are not here to alleviate our misery . . . at least not wholly . . . 'Worst Drought in 60 Years', ' Humanitarian Crisis of the Millennium', 'Deadly new HIV/AIDS virus strain now killing trees in Sub-Saharan Africa', 'FGM depopulating Africa' . . . do you think the people who come up with these catchy phrases to wring money from their opulent governments and obese compatriots are doing it out of altruism?
 

Would you gross out and guilt-blackmail everybody in your home country for decades so that you would retire in a shack? That would be stupid. Changing places with the people you were supposed to help . . . utterly stupid. If you have never wondered how come they always live in the bigger hotels, drive the most expensive imported fuel guzzlers around and half the time they are at the sandy beach resorts 'writing reports' then you must be a good hearted imbecile.

Just before I strangle this lengthening blog post to conclusion I would like to talk about the turmoil in the rest of the world. If you live in Africa and you are black you must have noticed the exponential increase of Caucasians and other races . . . well they have always been here for centuries but the newcomers are tickling my mind. I was used to the tourist, middle-aged kind . . . now there is a new breed. Fearless, enterprising, young and utterly poor Caucasians.  You can see them virtually in every slum in Nairobi, even in remote unheard of villages. Their trademark is the dusty sandal, sweaty armpits, no car and a hippy disgusting look. 

Mind you these people are not the kind to heed the dangers of African slums, leave alone travel advisories. No one would dare mug them, they just have that funny look and feel that one would find a shilling or two (about 0.05 US dollars) in their pockets. In fact they could mug you back. The dreadlocked Rastafarian kind used to be a spectacle, nowadays no one bats an eye lid when they emerge from some dingy building and head straight out to the vegetable kiosk to buy just two tomatoes.

I once saw one in a cigarette booth in the CBD recently smoking a joint . . . the place was packed with smokers but the silence was deafening . . . we were all too proud to dash out after getting in and realizing he was smoking pot at 7.30 am in the city centre. Everyone was as petrified of being robbed by him as they were of what he was doing. All I could think of was that I was going to get robbed by a solitary white man among 20 male adult Kenyans. There is even a new slang term for them in Kiswahili . . .  Wazungu Warokoti . . . literally Throw-Away Whitemen.

I need not be convinced anymore that there is an economic crisis, not just a passing financial bubble in the Western world. What in the world would make a whiteman so rugged and tattered? For chrissake they have welfare systems in most of their home countries, yet they go hungry to buy a ticket to come to Africa.

 Is it a conspiracy to scare the shit out of radical youths and thugs in the slum? Perhaps an effort to keep them from moving to the leafy suburbs/resorts to mug and abduct the more usual rich Caucasians? I don't get it. 

A friend of mine once posted an update on Facebook that some Caucasian was hawking in the matatu that he was commuting on . . . I promptly asked if he was a Jehova Witness kind, we are used to these . . . he said no, Jehova Witness Caucasians bathe. Personally I blame Hollywood . . . they have romanticized the concept of being a down and dirty Caucasian in the heart of Africa . . . remember Blood Diamonds by Leonardo DiCaprio? 

How would white people feel if we in turn bought tickets for all the Mungiki, SunguSungu and other African vigilante groups to go carry their mirthless trade of decapitating people and extortion rackets in the affluent middle class neighbourhoods of the West? Caucasians are turning our slums into a circus . . . and am outraged. Apparently they love what we loath . . . very curious and rather fascinating wouldn't you agree? Inexplicable, odd actions . . . often have bizarre motives; do we arrest and deport them or do we cheer them on?

But is this turmoil anything new? Actually it isn't. The world has had crises from time immemorial. Only that there weren't as many journalists let's say as during the time of Attila the Hun and his ravaging hordes or when Hannibal of Carthage invaded Europe. Problems were also a lot more localized.

Now everything is slightly different . . . problems are global and any instance of human tragedy is reported globally . . . to make the rest of humanity feel better about themselves I think. Besides this there is the fact that we have a lot more humans than at any other time in history. The Earth is groaning with mankind, some of whom I think we could do without . . . this also means there are a lot more human tragedies to report on. Thomas Malthus predicted this . . . he was already worried about food and hungry mouths to feed centuries ago. We are just living it, and getting to know about the tragedies he prophesied in real-time. 

Who would have thought that the Vietnamese and Cambodians would one day be more optimistic than the Americans?  Did you see how scruffy and disoriented some of the Occupy protesters in America were? The Dong (yes the Vietnamese currency is called the dong, penis in English colloquial use for those of you who threw away your dictionaries after KCPE, yes in primary) has taken a beating of late but the Vietnamese enjoy the kind of economic growth figures that make the dead American soldiers still immured there a lot more content with their gravesides.

 At least they are not buried in a broke country. America's public debt . . . the last time I checked,  was edging onto 16 trillion dollars, around 4 times the GDP of the US. America is comparatively more broke than Greece, I don't know why no one is making a fuss about it . . . maybe because the American government can still print as much as it deems necessary (Quantitative Easing) of the global reserve currency. They print the paper that materialism and capitalism are valued against. You can't beat that kind of leverage.

So the world is shitty, it will continue to get shitty . . .  more wars, more hunger, more unrest etc until we find a way better than the Chinese in controlling population growth more effectively . . . and as a matter of urgency. The problem with humanity, is that there is too much of it.

Every single human innovation has been designed to mitigate this problem without actually solving it i.e. feed more humans, educate, clothe and give more humans amenities rather than just reducing the number of humans in the first place and doing as best as we can with what is there.  What is the rush in birthing ourselves out of existence? We have finite resources, unless humans are declared edible we might just have to eat what grows on other humans.

 Think about it. You know unless we find an accurate method of teleporting ourselves onto distant galaxies, the Earth is all we have and all we will ever have . . . before the moon drifts out of orbit in a couple of million years leaving us, well . . . moonless? Multitudes of romantics would die of heartbreak, a catastrophe it will be I tell you. (A bigger problem would be what to do then with all those poems and lyrics with a non-existent moon and what-not.)

M. Wycliff
Nairobi.
PS> I don't hate white people and I have nothing against white people. But I do hate hypocrites in general . . . white, black, yellow or midget.

Saturday 7 July 2012

Corporate Conga Line: When Mavericks Dance to the Tune

Where to hold could be the question?

Loe and Behold! Greyhorn still exists! Given the paranoid tone of my last articles I would assume some of my readers (at the very least there being a pesky one who keeps reminding me I should write something in my twitter inbox) that I had been arrested for some of my more irreverent and let's say alarmist articles. Or I had been shot up (sic) by Mossad.

Well, sorry I ain't dead. In fact the reality behind my silence is rather drab . . . I got a job.  Another necessary detour in my inordinately frenetic and wildly vacillating life. Hopefully this time it will be a step closer to a fancied short cut to my destiny i.e. to be rich, independent and thoroughly impudent.

(Sorry poor people, you indeed are not in my future plans - am poor now myself, what would you have been doing as I work my neck off to get rich? Patiently sitting and waiting for me to get rich? If there were no handouts and poverty was equated to certain, speedy death am sure there wouldn't be so many poor people... at least that is what I think. Who would drink all of a meagre salary because of being sad and poor if one knew they would be instantly shot dead for being broke?)

I have had a few short stints in the corporate world before. And I was not impressed. I just couldn't figure out why I had to fit in to some shitty culture to survive besides having to work my denuded butt off.  This time fate gave me some pretty compelling cards to play with.

First I finally had a chance to brush up on my IT skills . . . an immensely gratifying thing for me. I would have literally worked for free just to work in the rarefied world of high end IT... that is I craved for a chance to play (and mess) with really, really, really expensive servers, cutting edge equipment and software at somebody else's expense. Being paid for it was a welcome bonus.

As if that was not good enough I got a cool boss. Really am not trumpeting, our department is the envy of the organization not so much because we are getting it easy in IT, but I can say it's to a large extent to the laissez faire attitude of our lead. We are often laughing and cracking jokes while under normal circumstances we would be sweating and shivering for dear life to find solutions to the endless batteries of mission-critical problems we are shot with in a single day. 

Challenging it is but pure ecstasy it has been for me, many a times the entire team has been pushing to the verge of collapse yes (the hours occasionally do get crazy) but when I go to 'die' in my bed it is often with a smile. Can you beat that, dying happy everyday!!

Nonetheless despite this rosy picture the fundamental problems that made me hate so much the corporate world unfortunately (and to my growing chagrin) can also be found to a lesser extent in my new company. 

I have been able to skirt them for this long because luckily for me am on the night shift and I have been deluding myself very convincingly that am practically bossless. 

Oh what a wonderful lie this has been, if only I could un-invent emails and for sure I would have been self-employed. Imagine that, self-employed in somebody's company. Then my bosses would just be one or two amongst a number of important nagging clients that I have to deal with now and again.


What are these problems you might wonder. First and foremost is the issue of meeting quantifiable objectives and targets in a support role. In essence everybody wants to know how a useless supporter you can be. And I can tell you from practical experience it is rather difficult to prove you are actually not useless... even if you know... and they know... that you must be doing something day to day worth your head in the company.

For instance how do you quantify crimping cables? (I crimped 1067 times successfully this month ... so? Did any client sign a check or give an award for that?). Try having just a single critical network cable not working properly and alas! you get wild calls and menacing demented looks from your affected co-workers.

How about chasing down a virus in the servers in an epic digital struggle and heroically killing it before it did any harm? Everybody knows a virus can be disruptive when it hits them but who cares if a crazy looking IT guy spends a whole night in the server room fiddling with a keyboard? At this point you are as helpful to them as a beautiful monkey on a magazine.

Then try to imagine when the network goes down (which it often does and can for a bewildering number of reasons) few would actually care that serious frantic work went to get it up and running again... you would get angry feedback for taking that long!! 

Seamless operations require consistent and vigilant effort ... but try and quantify vigilant, consistent effort. Most of the time when asked what the heck you do in the company anyway understandably what an IT guy can only give is a dejected impish face and limp off to rile in some geek forum about why God created non-techies so silly in the first place.

But these are clearly operational issues that mainly occur due to the natural lack of understanding about what the guys in the other departments do. (Forgive my language, the other imbeciles in the other departments do ... it is -- after all-- my damn blog). Every rational being somehow is inclined to think that no one else can conceivably be doing much more than them. That is, until you get to wear the "sluggard's" shoes

There are other more general aspects of the corporate community that instinctively puts me off. For instance it is a rule of thumb that you must be nice and endeavour to cultivate positive productive relationships with people that you might and might not necessary be working with on a day to day basis. Why? Am not anti-social but why the heck do I have to make this awkward silly small talk so that everybody else does not think am a tall snob? 

Creating a conducive environment from my perspective does not in any way include complementing my sharp elbows and me reciprocating by decoding the ugly dress a colleague might be wearing into some wonderful thing.

It is utterly impossible for everybody to like everybody else, then why do we have to keep pretending that we are all good and nice to each other, if I won't deliver I would be fired anyway whether or not I like somebody am supposed to work with or not.

Fortunately in my new company (and job description) there isn't a dress code (phew! what a relief, I wouldn't know a dress code even if I was hit with one on the head. I usually dress to work as if am going to buy bread at the local kiosk). Nonetheless people tend to notice that since you got employed you have never bought a new pair of shoes. "Mmh, how many problems can this guy possibly have, he is already half-crazy ... but he is so young."

Which is often the reason why I 'remember' to make subtle, progressive changes . . . I do this really, before somebody feels compelled to buy me some Chinese knock-off snickers out of this weird thing called 'corporate social responsibility' . (By the way isn't this CSR thing conceptually a bribe? Giving people things they don't deserve so that some other people can view the company favourably, that sounds like a bribe to me.) 

There is nothing wrong in looking presentable only that afterwards I feel like I have been bullied by the 'corporate culture' to buy the damn shoes. Am a thinker not a peacock, I would gladly go to work naked with a sandwich if I could.

In conclusion I have come to realize despairingly that no matter how wonderful a company is working in a corporate environment anywhere is like a mandatory chant in a Conga line. The gorillas in the front are the bosses and the hierarchy cascades to the back of the line. 

You have no say but to sway and dance to the beat and growls of the primates at the front, getting out of the line also means instantly being clobbered back or being kicked out into the crocodile infested lake of joblessness. So I have picked up my percussion rattles and Mexican hut, am gonna chant, vigorously shake my tutu to the beat from the front and see where that leads. Yeleleleeleiiiiiiiiiii !! Na-na! uu! na-na! uu!!

M. Wycliff,
Nairobi.

Saturday 5 May 2012

Musalia Mudavadi: Confidently, Confused Coward Aims High

Mudavadi finally left ODM. No surprises there. If you are one of his fans in his rickety presidential bid then you must be itching with soreness and anticipation that he will soon break his lackadaisical and lazy manners by getting himself some jugglers (balls?). The hullabaloo about Mudavadi being the ideal candidate because of his uncontroversial nature and that he would be a good character around whom various disparate, rival and divergent political factions could coalesce is rapidly being exposed for the sham it is.


Mudavadi evidently lacks the charisma and the ability to rouse enthusiasm and fervour even amongst his most ardent of supporters. His chances in swaying the hearts of his more steely rivals to support his bid seem eminently remote at the moment. In fact in my opinion Mudavadi looks like some convenient contraption that would only stand a chance to get at the presidency should the following circumstances arise: One Ruto and Uhuru are explicitly barred to vie either through incarceration or a judicial order, Kalonzo emigrates to Malawi or Tanzania and that Mudavadi somehow makes it to the run-off round where he should solely and specifically face his former patron Raila Odinga.


Kenyans so far have had two dictatorial presidencies and one lazy laid back chieftaincy under Kibaki. I shudder to think of another ten years of a lazy president – which is what Mudavadi would give us. To achieve Vision 2030 we need a focused Kagame like president, not a gouty tribal chief who gnashes his teeth at the sight of opposition and one who out of political expediency would let his cronies run amok in and outside the government.


When analysts were singing the praises of Mudavadi as the ideal candidate they obviously hoped that when he breaks from the ODM he would do it with some vigour and panache that would not only tear apart the ODM but he would also do it in a way that would give him a façade of credence as a viable leader. The drama that would ensue was supposed to have catapulted him onto the top of the opinion polls.

But Mudavadi slapped opportunity in the face and he could only manage a whimpering exit from the ODM. To make matters worse he followed this with a show of anxious teeth chatter and knee-knocking in the so called consultations with his ‘Abandu constituency’. In fact I believe were he not prodded along by the likes of Bonny Khalwale and Soita Shitanda, Mudavadi would have baulked at his own presidential bid and crawled back into the arms of Raila. Of all the things that Mudavadi was built for, which I suspect are not that many, this man was certainly not built for high drama, intrigue, suspense and most importantly taking of pivotal risks.


Give Mudavadi some comfort zone and a blanket and he would be pretty content to stay there for eternity, which happens to be the underhanded reason why Raila chose him as his running mate.  I daresay this overfed political fat-cat is good for nothing … just ask some honest inebriated blokes from Vihiga and they would tell you as much. Really, what has he ever done other than being heir to Moses Mudavadi (the brother-in-law to one Daniel Toroitich arap Moi)?


Honestly what kind of oratory is this: “Some people are saying am a Moi project, others are saying am a Kibaki project (so you wish!), others are saying am a Luhya project (yes you are), others are saying . . .” on and on he went in boring monotone enumerating whose project he has been and whose he would  like to be. At the end of these joyless remarks, which he has made into a formulaic lullaby that he keeps repeating like a broken record at each baraza, he smugly states that since he has been a project to so many dubious forces and of all hues and colours that in effect this amounts to him being a Kenyan project. Oh please! Read something on fallacy you over indulgent goat.     

Eugene Wamalwa has already clearly indicated that he would not bow down to Musalia. Why then should we expect the formidable Ruto, Uhuru, and the thoroughly impatient Kalonzo Musyoka to relinquish their bids and amiably handover their revving political juggernauts for Musalia’s Johnny come lately bid?


Why it would make more sense to have Musalia as a running mate to any one of them rather than to have things the other way round. If Musalia Mudavadi wants to make it to the presidency at all he needs to rebrand his own political persona, he needs to learn a bit of oratory so as to connect to the masses and last but not least he needs to trash his former boss and his cronies like Anyang Nyong’o. There is nothing that Kenyans hate more than a boring show and so far Musalia has been nothing other than utterly boring. 

He even meekly and hurriedly attended a burial in his own backyard this weekend in Vihiga (he was there for not more than a wholesome twenty minutes before he dashed off to sweat it out at his home) – all in a quest to avoid being in the same platform and glare of his former boss Raila Odinga. How illustrious of Musalia to be so respectful and cowardly.


M. Wycliff,
Nairobi.

PS;

Have you noticed how many Obama look-a-likes there are out there? All with big ears and big smiles. There have even been contests for people who look like Obama in some confounded country in South America. Which leaves me wondering: could Barack Obama snr. have sowed more wild oats than we are aware of? Simply troubling I say to have the man who could launch a nuclear weapon to have such common resemblance. Perhaps it would have helped (I think I would sleep better too) if the real Obama walked with a limp and was facially ‘contorted’ like his cousin Raila. I just have this feeling uglier people are harder to resemble.

Wednesday 28 March 2012

Kibaki and Raila overdue/ripe for arrest and trial at The Hague


When the ICC process with regard to Kenya's 2008 post-electoral violence began almost everybody in the country (at least superficially) was an ardent Hague-lover. In hindsight I believe this was primarily based on the fact that most people hoped, wished and imagined that it is the other side (depending on where they stood on the political divide) would get it bad.

All perceived enemies would be made to properly roast for whatever injustice -- real or imagined -- that each individual or faction ecstatically concocted in fantasies about the justice that would be meted out by The Hague based ICC. This pleasure could only have been increased with the knowledge that once one was swallowed into the ICC process (unlike the local judicial system) it would be extremely difficult to wriggle out -- oh how wonderful it was, a tamper proof guillotine for enemies.

The ICC delusion did not last very long, particularly for the political class who in any case are the standard target for the ICC. The dubious selection of those to be tried, the still more dubious dismissal of charges against  two of the suspects and simply a greater awareness about how international politics is intertwined with the ICC has left many Kenyans confounded. But to be quite honest not that rueful -- for the ordinary Kenyan it is refreshing to see the rich for a change crying, squirming and desperately scratching walls for escape routes.

Nevertheless most Kenyans now waver between supporting and opposing the court; while the ranks of opposers has swelled that of supporters has been diminishing and it has been reduced to an oddly group -- especially amongst the political class and other vested interests.

Few ICC fans today can avoid falling into to two broad categories -- those who support it for political reasons and those who innocently and ignorantly hold onto the belief that the ICC is the best course towards achieving justice for the PEV (Post Election Violence) victims.

Whether be it in The Hague or here in Kenya, for the victims 'justice' has become a diversionary tactic to suppress their calls, their real needs and struggles. It is the mother of all maggots; in the name of this 'justice' that is being elusively sought everywhere they get to be tear gassed while the rest of the country and the ICC continue to cry crocodile tears for their suffering. Even at this very moment they are being brutally forced out of the rapidly disappearing camps, not because they want to or that they have some place to go but because they have become an eyesore and a pestilence unto the government.

In respect of the ongoing process the remaining Hague-lovers have various elegant reasons for supporting the ICC. The most common one is the one surrounding the fight against impunity. Here is how it goes:

If all the ICC suspects and primarily William Ruto and Uhuru Kenyatta were to go scot free, and the charges against them dismissed peremptorily then the actual murderers and habitual perpetrators of electoral violence will be emboldened. Impunity will graduate to an even higher rank.

In this event any future measures locally to seek justice and retribution for the PEV victims will be automatically hamstrung. The suspects -- from high ranking officials to the ordinary citizens -- will vehemently oppose and repudiate their culpability for the atrocities they either committed or accessorized. They will never peaceably submit to a trial, whether or not there is sufficient evidence and legal basis for such accusations.

This is supposedly set to arise out of the fact that if the political class is deemed not culpable for the 2008 post-poll violence nor bear any responsibility then why should junior officers and ordinary fellows accept to be held accountable? Any recourse to justice through the courts at that point will be deemed farcical scape-goating, outright malice and hypocrisy of the highest order.

For in all honesty it is the political class that fights for political power and positions. It is they who incite and rally the people to 'oppose' the perceived devils, foes and enemies. It is the politicians who define, identify and set who the 'legitimate' or acceptable targets are. All these are and always have been the functions of the political class and communal leadership in Kenya's history of post-electoral violence. In this respect the people often see themselves only acting in defense of their communal interests by 'fighting' or 'eliminating' what has already been defined by the political leaders as the threats.


So the witty ones in the ICC bandwagon argue that by nailing to the cross William Ruto and Uhuru Kenyatta, the only remaining politicians at the Hague and salient members of Kenya's political class, a resounding wake-up call will be sent out and reverberate throughout Kenya's political landscape: A potent unambiguous and awe evoking deterrent for post-electoral violence and impunity in Kenya and Africa at large. 

At least that is the fairy tale script that the proponents of the ICC process have in mind and from which they partially keep feeding us the less controversial parts. That is what they want you to believe -- if you don't meekly accept Ruto and Uhuru to go through the ongoing ICC sacrifice ritual, then Kenyans will keep murdering each other after every election till kingdom come. Nonsense.

When the individual members of the Kalenjin community were burning Kikuyus in a church in Kiambaa or when they were razing down retired president Moi's (the most eminent Kalenjin in Kenya) property in Eldama Ravine, were they merely acting out of political reasons that Ruto had programmed into them or was that just a traditional pretext that they had been accustomed to and easily came to them as second nature?

Let us get this straight, although the violence was indeed spontaneous in eruption the underlying grievances, prejudice, motives and the 'technical' expertise in carrying out organized attacks during post-electoral violence are long established realities on the ground amongst the Kalenjin. No one needs to go around to tell people to do what they have been doing for decades; all that is needed is the 'right' kind of foul mood and a small trigger and everything would take the same predictable course over a vast and wide area.

So in my view during the PEV in 2008 the Kalenjin were merely manifesting some sort of age-set handover through perpetration of violence that is in part buttressed by cultural inculcation of tribal prejudice against other communities and a myopic recourse (a short cut that is availed during each election over the last twenty years) the growing pressures of insufficient land. 
That is, during these PEV episodes the youths are often riled up and eager to earn their colours by exhibiting their own martial superiority and to perpetuate the myth of warlike invincibility of the Kalenjin over the other tribes. In the process they also get to temporarily and if lucky permanently kick out the 'alien' and 'greedy' occupiers from 'Kalenjin' land.

Politicians need to give little incentive to these marauding and willing bands of 'warriors'. This is the most potent piece in the jigsaw puzzle of post electoral violence in Riftvalley that is often ignored; without youths feeling pressed to prove their masculinity and warrior-worthiness there wouldn't be as many cases of widespread violence. Traditions, myths about invincibility that help to shape ethnic identity and a culture of prejudice come together to provide the adhesive and template for post-electoral violence.

Needless to say this is a culture and mentality that urgently needs to be dealt with in a manner that would permanently dissuade the youth from engaging in violence to prove their manhood without leaving them feeling robbed of their Kalenjin identity and somehow making them 'diluted' weakling versions of their ancestors. The very things they are trying to fight i.e. they are trying to prove themselves as worthy warriors and denizens of the Kalenjin nation by their flippant murdering and engaging in arson.

If peaceful engagement, workshops, seminars and sensitization does not work then the state apparatus is obligated to use brutal, overwhelming force at it's disposal. Specifically targeting the youth and purposely aimed at sending a chilling message to all of them -- forever breaking this cycle of pubescent violence and Kalenjin myth of invincibility. If the Mungiki submitted under a Kikuyu presidency, the marauding Kalenjin youths and their parents who egg them on must be sent a similar message. If you live by the sword you should expect to die by the sword -- not to gain and boast about it to the next generation.


In civilized states, violence and force is a monopoly of the government, lawfully granted to it and regulated by a constitution. Anybody else who pretends to use force and violence for whatever reason is a pretender to the throne and must quickly be brought to heel. So besides the Kalenjin youth, the Gor Mahia fans should by now be suffering routinely  from broken limbs and broken skulls. Midnight crackdowns that smoke them out from their bedrooms in Kibera, and such . . .otherwise the mayhem will go on.


Going back to the PEV of 2008, the Kikuyu on the other side believed they were under imminent threat of annihilation, particularly in Riftvalley. It is such kind of post-electoral attacks that had in fact even led to the formation of counteracting militias and vigilantes, the most eminent one being Mungiki and the Chinkororo and Sungusungu amongst the Kisii. So as the Kikuyu began to shore up their defences and to build up the momentum and morale amongst their 'warriors' they in turn started to recklessly murder other minority groups and tribes in their midst.

This particularly the perceived ODM affiliated groups such as the Luo, the Luhya and even the Kisii who were mostly affiliated to the Kikuyu and were being butchered in greater numbers by the Kalenjin and the Luo on the western part of the country. Ironically, the Kalenjin, the people who Kikuyu anger and wrath was primarily directed at barely suffered from most of the Kikuyu- Mungiki led blows. The Luo on their part became as murderous as the rest in th anarchy bandwagon and most of the running battles in Nairobi were between the Kikuyu youths and their Luo counterparts. The police simply shot those they perceived as most troublesome at any point in time.


The chaos in most other parts of the country was mainly manifested in the form of vandalism and looting as order broke down that was haphazardly carried out both against enemy and ally tribes.

In retrospect people were killing each other for many other underlying reasons than just politics. Tribal animosity, negative ethnicity that espouses a condescending attitude towards other ethnic groups, bigoted prejudice was in my view a greater cause of these massacres. People had already a bone to pick with each other; they just needed a convenient field to fight it out. The fact that the conflict in hotspots amongst communities mainly coincided with the fault lines along political and ethnic rivalries only served to intensify the violence; for the targets were clearly set in the minds of individuals, they were in plenty and for the most part easy to pick out. Ill-feeling and ill-will was plenty and overflowing, it had been a decade since these feeling had last been played out and released through PEV.

But these ill-feelings and ill-will don't sprout out of nowhere like mushrooms and toadstools. They cannot arise of their own accord, somebody must be cultivating and arduously cooking them for some gain. Of course it is the politicians for who else would it be; they are certified culprits when it comes to inciting PEV. As I had stated earlier this is one of the reasons the Hague lovers would want some amongst the political ilk to roast for such terrible manners. I have no quarrel with that and I would agree with that kind of pitchfork, lynch-some-rich-politicians self-righteous rage mentality; only that I don't think sacrificing William Samoei Ruto and Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta at the altar of the ICC is even remotely sufficient. This makes the whole ICC thing unabashedly callous, unfair and totally unnecessary.

Let me demonstrate:
Assume that for a moment that Ruto was as evil, conniving and blood-thirsty as Ocampo and Raila would want us to believe. That for months before the ill-fated 2007 December elections Ruto sat with various Kalenjin 'commanders' and plotted the murder, mass rape and expulsion of mainly Kikuyu men, women and children from the Riftvalley. That it was his vision to diligently prepare and bring into fruition the arson and wanton destruction of property worth millions and millions of shillings. Then with such elaborate preparations does it not escape some sense how such a considerable number of Kikuyu made it out at all out of Kalenjin heartland -- given that after the swearing in of Kibaki there was greater urgency and need to kill them for going a step further to infuriate the Kalenjin by 'stealing' the elections?
William Ruto, his Kalenjin constituency and many of the ODM supporters fervently believed they would win the 2007 elections.

 In this light Ruto's alleged plan to commit atrocities against non-ODM tribes rings hollow for then it would mean that Ruto had planned for months to have thousands of people killed and hundreds of thousands expelled from the Riftvalley as some sort of election victory or New Year's gift to only the Kalenjin. With victory at hand and what he would have stood to gain from that alone, for what reason would he have gone through the troubles of plotting massacres for? Again I ask . . . WHAT FOR?

Perhaps Raila knows? Raila must certainly know for he above anyone else would have been privy and a chief co-planner alongside Ruto in such a plot. Ruto and Raila Odinga it must be remembered at this time were nothing less than Siamese twins -- that is how close they were. They hated the same people (PNU and the Kikuyu bandwagon), they fought the same fights and they even plotted and cooked up the same intrigues.

Can you imagine anything other than that it is a blatant lie? For otherwise Raila and his hordes of Luo intellectuals and strategists are the most stupid, naive and politically blind bunch of nincompoops who ever walked on the face of this planet; if they trully didn't have an inkling of what their Kalenjin comrades (amongst whom being a fair share of loud mouths) were upto. Plotting genocides and such. Such a plot would obviously have had serious political ramifications for the Kalenjin, it is incredible that the Kalenjin leaders would accept to bear such responsibility and cost alone -- given that the Luo and Raila would have been some sort of major beneficiaries as well.

Even if Raila denies his complicity (in the fictitious Kalenjin master plan to kill the Kikuyu in 2008) it can only mean that it was ODM's money that was being used to fund nothing less than a full fledged genocide. Do you know why Rwanda's Felicien Kabuga is an international fugitive? He is said to have funded the Rwandese genocide. Raila should shut up, this time for his own good.

Rather than Ruto (who during that fateful time and height of the PEV was honourably doing his duty and defending Raila to the hilt at the KICC; a loyal comrade to his party boss to the last minute) it is the ODM's entire so called 'Pentagon' that should be at the Hague for funding mass rape, murder and genocide. Amongst those at such a ceremonious event (the arraignment of all ODM party big wigs at the ICC) there at the forefront should be one Raila Odinga. Like the child soldiers it can be argued that the Kalenjin nation was merely used a tool . . . a cheap means to Raila's and ODM's diabolical ends.

On the PNU side, Uhuru Kenyatta is the man who is said to have rushed to the ground in aid of the Kikuyu who were being massacred ostensibly because of Kibaki's controversial swearing in. It was because of Kibaki, on behalf of Kibaki, for the personal interests of Kibaki and even perhaps at the behest of Kibaki that Uhuru Kenyatta was even anywhere near anything remotely to do with the PEV. The same can be said of Francis Muthaura.

The fact that these two men are not push-overs and that they could call their own shots with regards to the PEV, nonetheless the over-arching interests they were acting for were those of Kibaki.

If the Mungiki were called upon and rallied from elsewhere in the country to help their Kikuyu kin in Naivasha they were also called upon on the political account and on behalf of Kibaki's own personal interests. If Kibaki had resigned at that point it is known that there wouldn't have been as much tension . . . especially to the point of calling upon the outlawed Mungiki. Remove Kibaki from the equation and there is no rational explanation left for Muthaura's actions and Uhuru turns into a bizarre busy body, one not worth being even near a law court in Kenya, leave alone the ICC.

It is Kibaki's own political, moral and legal responsibility to account for the actions of men who directly acted under his own authority and sway. In the very least alongside Muthaura and Uhuru Kenyatta, Kibaki and other PNU rabble rousers should be at The Hague.

But this is madness, we can't have Kenya's entire top political class standing trial at the Hague . . . justice or not it would be ridiculous and denigrating for this country's sovereignty. That is why it is fitting, fair and sufficient for a new charge sheet to be prepared at the ICC. Whereupon there would be an expedient and immediate arrest of Kibaki and Raila as those most responsible and who bear the greatest political responsibility; alongside those unfortunately already before the court at the Hague. They after all (the principals) can carry bigger crosses due to their stature and the deterrence message will be far much more clearer for Kenyans.

Shameless criminal! Worthless daydreamer! Lazy mongrel! Nonsensical propaganda! Only a paid idiot and an incorrigible inciter can think of such abominable things! --- I imagine that is what the reaction of Kibaki and Raila would be if they actually read this blog post.

But seriously, if the immediate arrest of Raila and Kibaki and their speedy presentation at the Hague is untenable, unpalatable and completely detrimental to interests of this country, then I say it is ten times so (legally and morally) for the Ocampo 4 to be left to hang at the Hague.

Kibaki seems to be doing his part to undo the ugly ICC business. But for political expediency Raila is fanning the flames and shamelessly kicking Ruto's head into the boiling pot of the ICC, whilst he himself has no moral authority whatsoever to do so. If Raila was still thinking for himself (and not Caroli Omondi, his PA)  he would know that he is obligated to help them despite their silly selves (as he had been doing before); If for nothing else then for his own personal interests. On the other hand if he thinks the ICC is so fair he should offer to surrender himself to it at anytime, better yet take himself there to account for his utterances and the actions of the ODM side during the PEV, being such a just, brave and principled leader.


Thus I say, either we ship all those who were at the pinnacle of the political leadership during the poll violence to the ICC (whether the ICC wants to prosecute them or not; it would be fulfilling enough to have them pushed into the guillotine even for a day) or we stop burying our heads in the sand and acknowledge that this Hague thing is a wicked game being played with a few individual's lives for political expediency yet it is we as a country who are guilty for the PEV. Truth be told, do you see in the deeper recess of your mind anything like justice written anywhere in this Hague charade?  The ICC is nothing more than a private clinic whose owners will demand some form of payment for 'curing' our PEV ailment . . . that is perhaps why Raila is so favoured by the West, he might have already auctioned some unknown part of our sovereignty or future to who knows whom for this costly ICC game.


The feistiness with which the remaining ICC suspects (particularly Ruto and Uhuru) have been fighting this very real threat to their personal freedom might be easily misconstrued as a blatant manifestation of impunity. But wouldn't you fight with whatever means and at whatever platform such a threat aimed at your own freedom?

Try to imagine, if the tables were turned and it was Raila and some of his Luo henchmen who were trembling and quaking at the sight of the ICC noose -- do you think they would 'behave' and be quiet as Raila is telling Ruto and Kenyatta to be? Raila would plead his innocence from every slum roof and pebble-like platform in and outside this country; he would even print it on Uhuru Kenyatta's Brookside milk packets and Superloaf bread wrappers. In bold print, your Unga packet will have 'Jameni Nasua Raila'.

Let us be fair we either take them all there to the ICC, or we bring them all back home -- anything in between is hypocritical and a vile and vicious form of politicking. 

M. Wycliff,
Nairobi.