Thursday, 2 May 2013

The Wailing of the Wailing Wailer: Humble Pies Require Crappy Recipes


After a year's hiatus from FX (forex for all slow people), it was with slight apprehension and uncertainty that I embarked again into that uncertain world of jaw smashing risk, quick returns and a tantalizingly El Dorado like surreality. 

My apprehension was borne out of the fact that in a year's time I had hardly transacted any trade. Could I do it as fluidly as I could a year ago? Will it take me another couple of painstaking weeks to get back the innate understanding of the rhythms and cycles of the unforgiving market?

These were the questions playing on my mind. Eating away at an already severely depleted self-confidence. But alas! Riding a bicycle was as far a remote aphorism as I can think of to describe the natural re-entry I enjoyed. 

But that is getting far ahead of ourselves. 

There were, to say the least . . . on a psychological level, ego-murdering hiccups. To begin with I opened a completely different demo account to the one I initially intended, which belies the troubling premise I no longer knew even the most basic of basics!! I could not remember which account was for what!!

Since it was a demo account, after realizing my mistake, I decided to go along with it. It is the validity of analysis rather than account fritter features such as leverage, capitalization and minimum lot size that I was most interested in.

 But loe and behold, my first two trades went completely awry, I had completely ignored everything my very own charts were telling me. Or even more troubling, perhaps I no longer knew what the heck I was analyzing. 

To make matters worse I had executed spot transactions on the spur of the moment, I always use . . . and my entire repertoire of strategies depend on . . . pending orders!! Silly silly silly damn hubris laden mistake!! 

If nothing those two fairly painful trades, although not catastrophic quickly jolted me back to seriousness. I had to prove to myself or else call it quits!! 

The next two trades were methodical, rationally executed and mercifully - they swiftly (swiftly on a 30 minute time-frame is more like 10 hours of waiting, and 3 hours of pre-entry analysis) went profitable hitting and surpassing my own profit targets!!

 I was born to do this, I know it, I have proved it yet again, I humbly told myself, tired and battered but elated. The surging of the blood with exhilaration in my veins after such a long time evoked so many similar moments in the past. If it told me nothing, it reminded me how I immensely enjoy doing this, given that no real money was even involved!! 

I had been immediately hammered by the market, yet quickly managed to refocus and achieved what still thousands of people across the world are spending countless hours trying to get right. All in a little less than 30 hours. 

Watching the first two trades recouping the previous day's losses got me all emotional; the sheer mental exertion very nearly made me breakdown and cry. It was like some perfectly orchestrated symphony by Bach or Mozart. The icing on the dessert came soon after . . .  other transactions executed like clockwork . . . based on my own tearfully eked prognostications. 

It is a wonderful feeling to be so privately right again.

M. Wycliff,
2nd May, 2013

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